You read that right. This person I knew for less than 3 months is my husband now going on two years and the father of my child. Let me start from the beginning.
I was living in Raleigh, NC in a perfect 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate of 3 years. I had just left my job at a wilderness treatment center for at-risk adolescent boys to work at a much closer independent transitional living center for teen girls just getting out of juvenile detention center. Around this time, I had been single for about 6 months after an almost-year-long toxic relationship (I am also to blame). After this relationship, I knew I had to higher my standards and love myself way more than I had been recently.
I was just working as much as I could, strengthening my resume, and going out with friends. Pretty typical 22/23 year old lifestyle. I was dating just for fun. I had met some really sweet people from Tinder and went on a few really fun dates. Better dates than I had gone on with my boyfriend of almost a year. I was finding myself again and couldn’t believe that I forgot what was out there in the first place.
I always said I would never date anyone in the military. Growing up I was an Army Brat. I grew up with my dad always traveling overseas and being deployed. I didn’t want that for myself because I knew the pain and anxiety that came with the military lifestyle. So of course, any military guy I came across on Tinder was always an automatic “left.” But for some reason, Amoure’s profile (he was in the Navy) really caught my attention (super lame, I know). We matched and had a short and sweet conversation. Shortly after, I decided I was going to delete my Tinder. Amoure and I hadn’t exchanged information, so me, being a weirdo, looked him up on Facebook. It wasn’t hard to find his profile with such a unique name. I messaged him saying something like, “Hey, I know this is really strange and you don’t have to respond, but I deleted my Tinder. Here’s my contact information if you want to stay in touch.” Sure enough, he did.
We talked and talked and talked. He was messaging me from Guam and was coming home on leave to North Carolina soon. I wanted to meet him and we talked and FaceTimed for about four weeks before he finally came home on Halloween weekend.
The day finally came and I was SO nervous. I already knew I liked him, but I was so scared to meet him in person. I had a million thoughts running through my head. What if he doesn’t look like his pictures? What if he isn’t the same in person? What if he’s rude? What if he stands me up? What if he doesn’t like me?
I decided to head downtown to my job at the time, Virgil’s Taqueria and planned on meeting him there. I drank to pass the time and it kept getting later and later. I was so worried he wasn’t gonna show and my heart only pounded harder as the time went by. Finally, I get a text.
“I think I’m here.”
Dressed as the Devil in a black dress, with red stockings, a red sequin cape, and horns I went to meet him in the front of the restaurant. One look at him and I was even more nervous. He was cuter than I had expected and had a much better style than I thought. He said hello and kissed me and I swear I melted into the ground. We went inside and I showed him around my job and introduced him to my coworkers. It was Halloween weekend so there was a lot going on. I worked for a company that had really nice bars and a club so I was able to show off the town to him, skip the lines, and not pay cover charges. We went to the bar and simultaneously ordered a jack and coke. We went to a Halloween party where I ended up being embarrassed by the host in front of the whole party (we’re not even gonna get into that) and got caught in the pouring rain because we weren’t paying for the surcharged Ubers. I didn’t even take into account that he had just traveled on a plane for 24 hours and came immediately to see me. He hadn’t seen his parents in about a year or longer but still came to see me right after going home. He didn’t complain once.
This was the start to the only 3 weeks we had together. Luckily for me, he was here for my 23rd birthday. I loved Foothills beer so Amoure had planned a little getaway for us. He rented an AirBNB in Winston-Salem, home of Foothills brewery. On the 2 hour drive, Amoure had a few birthday presents waiting for me in the car. This man really outdid himself! He got me two Coach bags and a few other things. Then, he pulls a little box out of his pocket. Inside was a gold ring, covered in diamonds, and one big one in the middle.
Now mind you, he has talked about proposing to me. I guess I never believed he actually would! We had only really known each other for about 10 days. I thought he was crazy.
I told him there as no way we could be engaged so soon, but I’ll consider it a promise ring. The both of us were sitting in the car about to have a heart attack, but still had the whole night ahead of us.
We arrived at the AirBNB and got ready to go to the Foothills Brewery. The AirBNB was perfect. We tried every beer at the brewery, got a growler, and some glasses as souvenirs. We came home and took a bunch of pictures with my ring as if I did just say yes and we were engaged. We went home the next day and a few days later I changed my mind. I said yes to him in the car before we went inside to eat at a hibachi restaurant. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my best friend (although the diamond ring on my finger wasn’t exactly letting me keep this secret).
Shortly after, my time with Amoure was up and he would have to go back to this little island that I had never heard of, on the other side of the world. I was a wreck. I couldn’t tell anyone about our engagement. I knew it wouldn’t be met with “Congratulations!” but with, “what do you mean you’re engaged?!” I was so stressed out. I was missing him so much. I didn’t want to move to Guam, but I didn’t know when I’d see him next. The pain of him being gone, being engaged and not being able to celebrate, all while keeping it a secret riddled me with anxiety for weeks. I couldn’t breathe most days and my chest was so tight. I couldn’t focus at work and I wasn’t happy at home.
I eventually decided I was going to be with him in Guam. I wanted to move in 3 months so I could get my shit together, but that 3 months quickly turned to 6 weeks. It actually all worked out perfectly, I quit my job because I dented the company car and was going to get fired anyway, my roommate and I were no longer getting along, and he was able to help me financially along the way.
Listen, I KNOW this is nuts. I had never even heard of Guam before I met Amoure. I had looked forward to meeting my future husband since I was 14. I took a vow of celibacy for a year and a half to prepare to be a great wife and to get closer to God. I prayed for him for years. Wrote him letters, painted paintings. I never intended to have a story of falling in love with a high school sweetheart or meeting someone in college. That’s just not me. We met and there was no doubt in either of our minds that we weren’t supposed to be together. Although I wasn’t as close to God anymore, He kept His promise to me. I knew Amoure was meant for me and I didn’t care what anyone said. And for those over planners and who are doubtful, yes I had a backup plan and money for a ticket back home. I would have much rather taken the chance of going across the world and it being an absolute disaster than missing out on this.
My mind always flashes back to when Amoure showed me music videos from the Lumineers album Cleopatra. Their album has a video series of a young man whose father just died. He asks his lover to come run away with him and in one video she does and in the next video, it shows what happens if she didn’t (Sleep on the Floor, Angela, and Cleopatra). The Lumineers just resonates with me in a way I can’t explain. This was what truly convinced me. It may sound silly reading it from a blog, but if you watch the videos it all makes sense.
I was going and no one was stopping me. Not my parents, not an 8 month lease that I still had, and not the lack of funds in my account.
Almost two years later it is the best decision I have ever made. But it’s not like we just found our soulmates and it was happily ever after. We WORK hard for this relationship. Our relationship has exposed all of the ugliness that was pent up inside of me that became coping mechanisms after years of abuse, abandonment, and shitty relationships. Amoure never gave up on me but helped me by always being there at the end of the day. Once I really knew he wasn’t going to leave me and this really was going to work our relationship became a breeze. It took counseling and things haven’t been perfect, but they’ve been really close to it. The island is a different world and it’s beautiful. I’ve grown up more in these two years and met more of my goals than I have in the last 5.
It’s sunny every day here. We have a beautiful three bedroom house on a golf course on top of the mountains on the island. We have neighbors who bring us fruit and vegetables from their back yard. I work at a restaurant where I’ve met singer Pia Mia, fighter BJ Penn, and Guam’s first senator Lou Guerrero. My boss gave me the opportunity of designing a t-shirt and now a handful of girls all over the island are wearing a tee designed by me. We lost a baby and after trying again we have the most perfect son together. We paid off over $10,000 of debt together. And I finished 3 semesters since being here which is more than I have done in the last two years. The list goes on. I cannot explain to you enough how happy I am that I listened to my heart and my head and not the people who didn’t actually give a shit about my happiness. Life is extraordinary and I’m not here to play it safe.
Yes, we met on Tinder. Yes, we were engaged after 10 days and married after 2 months. Yes, I moved across the world 6 weeks later to a place I didn’t know.
Yes, we truly are happy and in love.