Stop Treating Sex like a Chore

Okay, so if you are my cousin or aunt or related to me at all I need you to exit out of this right away. Writing blogs can be scary because in order for people to relate to you at all you have to be real. You have to be raw. And well, let’s be honest. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship has definitely treated sex like a chore at least once.


So for anyone who is curious or doesn’t have personal experience, yes everything “down there” goes back to normal after a baby. Brand new practically. (Thanks for asking).


Surprisingly, my sex life has actually gotten better since having the baby. Most of the time you hear the opposite. Don’t let that dim down the fact that we are EXHAUSTED. We’re both working. He goes to work, comes home, I go to work, then come home and breastfeed all night. Repeat. It’s rare that we’re both home at the same time together. And when we are we’re both catching up on all the chores for the week and doing the things we actually want to do. Like, I paint and write blogs and he practices stocks and does research. All while playing hot potato with the baby.


Then there’s nap time.


Ah, yes. The moment that we aren’t, but kind of are, waiting for.


An -at least- promised 15 minutes. This is our time. Our time to take a deep breath and spend some time alone together. Sit next to each other on the couch. Lay on our bed.


We have to take advantage of these moments. They’re so few and so unpredictable.
Of course, both of our ears are peeled and the baby monitor is only a few feet from us, but this is our time and we take advantage of it. I’m not even talking just about sex. Intimacy in general. Whatever that means to you. Whether its making sure that you plan a date, cuddle on the couch, or even just look nice for each other and make dinner at home. The scenarios are endless.


See, the difference between now and before the baby is we had a lot of time together. So having sex or being intimate was just another thing you had to make sure you did at least once that week. Because even though you would have many opportunities at that time you probably were too tired or you just didn’t feel like it or it was just too predictable. You know, when you’re freshly showered, in underwear and a t-shirt, he rolls over to you and all of a sudden wants to make out… you know where this is going. Or admit it, you do it sometimes too ladies.


Now, we’re more spontaneous. We value our time together more, in fact sometimes we jump on it. Also, sex and intimacy have great benefits!


– Boosts your libido
-Lowers blood pressure
-Counts as exercise
-Improves sleep
-Relieves headaches
-Relieves stress


The list goes on and on. Besides, you know you’ve been catching glimpses of your other half that remind why you were so attracted in the first place. (Earlier this week I saw my husband lift something and his arms were fully flexed in a way I haven’t seen in a while and o m g).


Listen, I know you’re tired. That’s not going to change. Seriously. Even if your kids are out of the house and it’s just you two again, you’ll have another reason why you’re tired. So take the few moments that you have together and make the most of them. Make it something you need to do every few days, not just another thing that is on your to-do list.